No beef today ladies and gentlemen. Only tears, tears of sadness over the death of something beautiful yet rugged, something stylish yet reportedly past its prime, something almost too wonderful to put into words. The era of the Jared Allen mullet is over, at least temporarily.
Allen claimed on his Twitter site that, "The mullet was trimmed for the wedding but the Moolay is more than just some hair, its a lifestyle! You gotta keep a positive Mullitude...."
Apparently his reportedly camera-shy fiancee, the 24 year old Jordan Parrish, felt it would be best if Allen weren't to rock the mullet for their big day. So, even though some of the devoted followers on his website www.jaredallen69inc.com, and in his "Mullet Militia" may be disappointed, they shouldn't worry, Jared Allen is just as awesome as ever.
Allen has become a Twitter/YouTube/television phenomenon with his numerous antics. Search for Jared Allen on YouTube and you'll find videos upon videos on just about everything from Allen talking about his mullet and heart-shaped chest hair to him hunting in a tree to his sack celebrations and even him running around a grocery store in a turkey costume. It's also no mistake that he wears the number 69, in case you were wondering.
He also just developed an iPhone app that includes things like the history of American flags, a mullet generator which gives you an idea of how you'd look with a mullet, hunting tips, pictures of the mullet militia, Allen's favorite songs, his Twitter page, and information about his restaurants.
Allen has quickly earned a reputation as one of the funniest players in football, but believe it or not, is probably more feared on the field than funny off of it. And for good reason. In the past three seasons, he has put up amazing numbers, posting 15.5 sacks, 14.5 sacks and 14.5 sacks, the first year with the Chiefs and the last two with the Vikings respectively. And don't think those sacks go unrewarded; for each sack Allen puts a racing stripe on the side of his head, and of course earns a good amount of money. The Vikings made Allen the richest defensive player ever at the time in 2008, when they signed him to a six year, $72.36 million deal.
But of course, life for Jared Allen hasn't always come as easy as making quarterbacks cry has. Allen was a no-name coming out of Idaho State, drafted by the Chiefs in the fourth round of the 2004 draft, despite his constant top-notch performance throughout his high school and college careers.
The thing is, he's had more trouble proving his worth off the field than on it. Allen has been arrested/charged for DUI three times. The first came in Pocatello, Idaho on May 11, 2002. The next two came on May 11, 2006 and September 26, 2006, both in Leawood, Kansas, and the latter for which he spent 48 hours in jail.
But since that last incident, Allen has turned his life around. He no longer drinks alcohol, as he claims to have found a new drink of choice in O'Douls, a non-alcoholic beer. "O'Douls is delicious, it's what beer drinkers drink when beer drinkers can't drink beer."
Allen has also been involved in community service for the past few years. He has worked with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and was one of four NFL players (the other three being Larry Fitzgerald, Will Witherspoon, and Danny Clark) that went to the Persian Gulf on a week-long NFL-USO tour to visit the troops.
Allen is the type of star that I love, the type who market themselves beautifully, but stay out of trouble and never take themselves too seriously. Allen always seems to be having a good time in whatever he's doing. He never runs his mouth, but he's also not afraid to voice his opinion, or show his energy and emotions on the field. The best part is that the guy can actually play football. Until he was a dominant football player, he made sure to stay quiet for the most part, but now that he is constantly in the football spotlight with his wonderful play, Jared is open to it. He knows how to keep the fans happy and interested both on and off the field, and is having fun and making money at the same time.
Just a few years ago, Allen was virtually an unknown, defensive end who had his fair share of trouble. Now, the born-again jolly, joyous, jovial Jared who doesn't drink alcohol and takes part in community service is one of the best and most popular players in football; let's just hope that his mullet comes back as soon as football season does.
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